Orgasms are Grrrreat!
I was over at Monogabliss’s blog commenting on orgasms. And since I’ve been having quite a few of these lately as a result of the renewed sex life my DH and I are currently sharing, I felt why not post here?
First of all, I tend to write more when things are edgy for me. So I’ve had quite a few days without that feeling. Sadly, my muse tends to fall asleep when nothing crazy is going on in my life to spill my guts about. Right now the kids are excellent, DH and I are doing great, and life in general is good. Well, not perfect, but pretty good.
For those who have followed me from the start, and those who have valiently tried to read through my blogs, you’ll be happy to know that things are going quite nicely. We’ve made good strides in renewing our marriage, our intimacy, and working on vanilla with a twist of D/s. I’m still just getting weekend sex, but it’s been pretty good quality sex. There’s been sex with DH totally focusing on me and my pleasure, as well as Dom-ing up and warming my bottom as I like. He’s growing more aggressive and confident, and in turn I’m feeling more loved and secure and happy. I’ve actually found myself in tears of joy over how we make love now, and I have to try very, very hard not to have regrets for all the lost years, and to just appreciate what we now have. We are also turning a corner where he is feeling comfortable “using” my body for his pleasure… sometimes getting me aroused is quite an arduous task, that he has difficulty finding his release after “I come first.” I hopefully have convinced him that the morning “boink” he is very capable of sans Viagra is OK with me… quick sex to get him off is OK. My pleasure is knowing he takes pleasure from my body. As I had always known in my heart, once we were connected and trusting in the bedroom, the rest of our relationship would be able to bloom and grow and warm. We really enjoy each other now, he may well end up being my best friend as I always had hoped.
As I mentioned at the other blog… when it comes to coming… the letting go is a really important part of the experience of an orgasm. That comes from total trust. While an orgasm feels great, it’s also a time when our bodies and faces are clenching and out of control. In real life, it’s not a look or feeling we want. But with your spouse, it’s special, because the pleasure is exclusively shared between you. It’s also not feeling like you are taking “too long” or that giving you pleasure is a chore for your hubby. And when I have the freedom and the time to be totally relaxed (i.e. empty house, no kids), I find the ability to “let go” and really be vocal enhances the orgasm and then allows me to be able to have several more Os. More than the “yes, yes, yes” or the “oh my God!” but the deep, guttural, throaty scream that wells up from deep within your core and explodes from your lungs when you come. Nothing better. The times we have to be quiet are tougher, because you hold back. I’m sure an orgasm is different for everyone, but for me it’s the feeling that I am climbing a mountain, occasionally sliding back, then climbing higher, always to a peak, and then finally I fall over the pinnacle and feel it radiate and ripple out from my core to the extremities of my body. A really good orgasm can affect my whole body and cause me to tremble, spasm, or shake for a while afterwards too–what I call aftershocks. It’s delicious, and sometimes hours later I’ll get a slight aftershock just thinking about it (LOL, it’s happened to me in church, and my hubby loves to see that small shudder, because he knows it was the sex that morning that set me off). The endorphin or oxytocin or whatever the feel-good hormones are called then drift through my system for the entire day… and into the next. By day 3-4 though, I “need” it again. I am experimenting with a mid-week date with my BOB (Battery Operatied Boyfriend), to help me keep that up mood until DH reaches the weekend and can relax and put more time into love-making.
The one type of orgasm I desperately hope DH and I can eventually accomplish is G-spot and squirt. This was something I experienced in my 20s with one man, and it was memorable and by far the most intense orgasm. On a rare occasion with self-stimulation I have gotten there, but less and less frequently in recent years. Talk about open and trusting. Your man has to be prepared to get sprayed. Not many guys are there yet… and I haven’t felt my DH is yet, hence there is always a little hold-back for me, for fear of freaking him out. But we have discussed it, and he has watched a video about it… so perhaps someday we’ll get there.
The best thing of all, is the DH and I actually talk about Os now. He is reading the book “She Comes First” and for the first time in a 20 year marriage has actually given me oral–not sustained, but he’s working on it. He’s also reading HusDom’s blog at my request, to understand how a committed, married couple has experienced D/s in their lives.
So, all in all, things are great. Considering that at this time last year I was making my plans to leave him…
(Now, if tomorrow’s breast biopsy will come back negative, life will be good).